One night
by subseeker
Summary: One night with our boys from The Shield. And one night can change everything. What will it bring for Roman? This is Rolleigns and my first attempt at it ;)
1. Trance

Now, this something completely new for me. Rolleigns :)

It jumped me during a sleepless night and I had to write it.

I'm not sure how it worked out and thus it's up to you if this goes on or not. You tell me, guys ;3

Enjoy and tell me what you think!

* * *

Fighting together. Defending each other. Being strong... being one. Invincible. Unbreakable.

But the unbreakable... was cracking.

It was a storyline that made them a team, but they had become friends over it. It was... a fucking storyline.

The Shield was breaking apart, oh so very slowly and if one listened close enough, a threatening little sound of tension could be heard, always humming in the background. This group was supposed to fall to pieces, it was the storyline. To pieces... _two_ pieces... And just like it was planned out it was him and Seth becoming _The Team_.

The funny thing was that somehow it had always been like that. The being worried about Seth in front of the camera was part of the show, but most and for all it was... real. Every time he saw the other man lying there, cringing in pain or unmoving, it was _real_ worry that made him cradle him in his arms, made his guts boil in rage. It was as real as Seth's tactile nature towards him. The jumping him, the hugging, clinging. And he enjoyed every single minute of it, in and outside the ring.

And somewhere along the line this friendship had become more for him than just being friends. With every touch he felt a spark and every gaze fed his longing and every time Seth said his name he felt a current pull at him, pulling him towards the other man.

Automatically he held his hand towards Seth as his friend crawled into his direction for a tag. Beside his own hand he saw... _his_... hand and he heard _his_ voice calling for Seth to tag him in. _He_. The second piece.

Stretching his arm a bit further towards Seth, he called it over and over again... _come on, baby_... and from the corner of his eyes he saw the second piece look over to him with a deathly stare. That, too, was real. They were friends, yet in a way not. Not anymore. _In a way_. Complicated... As The Shield started to crack, their friendship had started to crack, too, had become difficult, straining. Not always, but often enough. Too often. He had no idea when he had started to think of _him_ as the second piece, but it matched their situation. And sometimes the thought that maybe it was Seth who was the putty in the cracks of their real friendship.

He blinked and just as Seth was close enough for a tag, _he_ practically jumped over the top rope... tagging with Seth. Then suddenly Seth was ripped away from them, was lifted and thrown over the top rope and out of the ring. And for a ridiculously long second his world stopped turning as his eyes found Seth lying there. Unmoving.

His feet carried him over to his friend before the world around him came back to life and he didn't care what was happening in the ring. What was happening to _him_. All he cared about was the man he secretly held so dear to his heart. Slipping his hand under Seth's head, he called his name softly. For a much too long moment there was no reaction and his chest constricted. But this was Seth and this man was tough. Again he called his name. His fingers slipped deeper into the bicolored locks while his other found Seth's hand, squeezing it gently.

Faintly he heard a three-count and the cheering of the audience, telling him that _he_ had been pinned. He didn't care because all that was important this very second was a light, answering hold on his hand and chocolate brown eyes meeting his gaze.

"Hey, Rome," Seth said a bit breathless, but the smile on his lips and the twinkling in his eyes told him that his friend was okay.

Roman smiled back. And even now he wished he could drown in those chocolate seas...

With a murmured_ come on _he gently helped Seth up and like every time, Seth's arm circled his neck for support while his other hand found Roman's vest to hold on to him and Roman's arm stayed wrapped around the slender waist a bit longer than necessary, but... his friend didn't seem to mind.

In the ring Dean was lying curled up, holding his middle. They had lost the match, just like it had been scheduled. Only... that it had been supposed to last a few minutes longer. It hadn't been Seth's fault and it hadn't been Roman's. Dean had tagged in too soon, should have let Seth tag Roman. _Then_ it would have been his turn.

A slight pressure on his neck made him step forward as Seth pulled him towards the ring, where Dean rolled over the the ropes. Like so often he missed the feeling of Seth, all pressed up against him, as the other man slipped out of his arm to help Dean and stop him from crumbling to the ground and Roman helped, because Seth asked him to.

The way back to their locker room was quiet and the way Seth walked, a little hunched, breathing a tad to strained, didn't go unnoticed by Roman. The very moment they entered the backstage area, he let go of Dean and watched as Seth tried to wriggle out of Dean's arm, not without a bit of difficulty. Dean didn't seem to be interested in letting him go. Only when Roman peeled the persistent arm away from his friend, Seth was free. Immediately he leaned against the big Samoan with a quiet groan.

"Where does it hurt?" Roman asked worried, just like always, as he tried to get a good hold on the leaner man without hurting him even more.

"Crashed onto my side."

Seth's voice was still a bit breathless, causing Roman to steer him towards the trainer's room, taking most of the weight.

"Woah, hey, wait! Where are we going?"

Not pausing his way to the trainer's room with a more or less cooperative Seth in his arm, he muttered: "Trainer's room. You need to get a check up."

"No, come on, Rome. I'm fine, really," Seth protested as he struggled half-heartedly in his hold. "All I need is a hot shower and few minutes to breathe through."

"Sure," Roman huffed, shaking his head. "You can't even stand straight, Seth."

"_Please_. I promise I'm gonna go there if I start to feel bad or something. Okay?"

Not the words stopped him, but Seth's eyes as he gazed down at his friend. Big, brown, brilliant eyes asking him not to drag him to the trainers. Handsome bastard. He always did that, looking at him with those puppy eyes and he knew Roman couldn't refuse him anything.

Reluctantly loosening his hold on the lean frame, Roman muttered: "I'm gonna keep an eye on you..."

Stepping in front of him, Seth looped his fingers into the straps of the big man's vest, tilted his head a bit to the side and those rich brown orbs roamed his face as he said: "I know. You always do."

A soft tug, pulling him forward... towards Seth... and it took all his willpower not to close the few inches which separated them and just claim those tempting lips. His heart was speeding up a bit. So often he found his poor heart run and run, fast, never getting closer to the man he loved.

"Wonderful, I could die over here and you wouldn't care," Dean growled from somewhere behind Roman and the moment was over.

With a pat on his chest, Seth smiled at him before he made his way over to Dean and for a second or two, Roman only stared into nothing, wishing Seth would just _see_... and return his feelings.

"Stop whining, old man. Bad weeds grow tall," Seth teased and Roman turned around just in time to see Dean put his arm around his shoulder.

Again.

And while they walked to their locker room, Roman's eyes stayed fixed on Seth, who still walked a tad too hunched for his taste...

Ten minutes later they were standing under the running showers and Dean and Seth were chatting. And Roman was watching. Seth. Who still wasn't moving as easy as he should. And there was a suspicious shadow forming on his left side. Three minutes, that was exactly how long Roman could hold himself back before he stepped up to Seth who fell silent mid-sentence, looking at him with a surprised expression.

"Rome?"

Putting a hand on the sore side, Roman rumbled: "That doesn't look good, Seth. I'd feel better if you'd go to see a trainer."

A beautiful and amused little smile spread over the other man's face as he blanketed Roman's hand on his side.

"Stop worrying. I told you I'm fine," Seth assured him, while lightly patting the big hand. "If you keep up looking like this, the frown will be etched to your pretty face permanently, big man."

It was like falling into a trance and it happened more often lately when he was close to Seth. For those moments his whole universe was filled with chocolate brown, warming eyes, a voice which made his body hum and the faint scent of vanilla that left him longing to taste it. Him. His fingers splayed over soft and slick skin.

"Aaw, how sweet," Dean chipped in. "He's in his ridiculous mother hen mode."

Shooting Dean a grin, Seth quipped: "Don't listen to him, Rome, he's just jealous because you're never mother hen all over him."

Pursing is lips, Dean gazed back and forth between them, before his gaze stayed on Roman as he uttered: "Yeah... how come he's so overprotective over you that he can't even spare a glance for others?"

At those words Roman saw a question in Seth's eyes appear. One he wasn't sure of if he wanted to be in the uncomfortable situation to have to answer it and his heart dropped to his guts. Pulling his hand out from under his friend's, he went back to his own shower, trying to get finished at speed record. He wanted, needed to get out of here. This wasn't his day. Definitely not, because he couldn't think straight, his thoughts revolving around Seth constantly. Everything seemed to throw him off track. Glances, touches... and he ended up in a trance. Fucking dangerous...

A hand on his back made him jump.

"Sorry, Rome..."

The touch sent a tingle down his spine and goose bumps all over his body. Fuck, just because of an _innocent_ _touch_. Gosh... he was in pretty deep. Much too deep...

"No need to," he replied quietly, rinsing the foam out of his hair.

"You're pissed."

He halted for the briefest of moments. And then he sighed audibly.

"I'm not. I'm tired, that's all."

Turning the water off, he squeezed the water out of his wet mane and turned around, feeling suddenly somehow really exhausted.

"So you're not coming to the after-show party?"

Disappointment was coating Seth's voice and the pout on the handsome face could be used as a weapon. Lethal pouting.

"You've heard him, he's tired. You're gonna survive a night without him," Dean snorted, cocking an eyebrow.

_Who asked you? _Roman thought, pressing his lips to a tight line.

But maybe it really wasn't a good idea to go to the party. Not when he wasn't in control of himself. This wasn't the first and sure as hell not the last party, so yeah, he would stay away before he would do something stupid and embarrassing.

Like accidentally falling onto Seth's lips in a drunken stupor.

"Hardly," Seth grinned, while patting Roman's broad chest.

It drew a small smile from Roman as he passed his friend, reflexively smoothing a hand over the bicolored hair and as he walked out of the room, he heard Seth call that he would stay a few more minutes under the nice, hot water. Seth... water... _hot_ water, cascading down this enticing body... steam, wrapping around him like a veil... and those sounds of contentment...

Quickening his steps, Roman fled to his locker, sat down heavily on the bench and scrubbed his hands through his face before he hung his head in defeat. As a precaution he leaned a bit forward, somehow folding his arms in his lap to hide the interest his southern regions were evincing. And none too soon. Only a few seconds later Dean entered the room, walking over to his own locker without a word or a glance.

The air was filled with the sound of the running shower and quiet rustling of things being packed away or retrieved from bags as Dean got ready.

"So you're really not coming to the after show party?" Dean asked casually, glancing over to him as he stuffed things into his gym bag.

"I think I said that I'm tired," Roman grumbled and eventually he dared to sit up straight to pull his own gym bag over to him.

He didn't look over as Dean sat down beside him.

"Why do I have the feeling that it's just an excuse?" the other man murmured while tying his sneakers.

"Why would you care?" he retorted, still not looking over to his teammate.

There was a pat on his towel clad thigh and the following answer caught him off guard in a way, dimmed the anger which was smoldering in him for a while now a bit.

"Look, Roman, I know it's been... difficult... between us lately but..." Dean trailed off and the hand on Roman's leg vanished. "I care because you are my friend."

And then Dean hooked an arm around Roman's neck, pulling him into a quick half-hug and it felt like back then, before he noticed the first cracks in the team and for that moment he wished it could be like it had been at that time. Being friends. They all. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Have you ever thought about telling him?"

_Now_ he looked at Dean, trying his best not to show that he had put his finger on the very spot.

He stood up and he began to throw his clothes on, muttering: "What? I don't know what you're talking about."

"So you're telling me that you're not interested in him?"

"He's my friend, Dean. Nothing more, nothing less."

Silence reigned for a long moment between them in which Roman stubbornly avoided to look at the other man again, stuffing his things into his gym bag, because, fuck, he wanted out of here, like, now. But again it was Dean's words which caused him to gaze at the man involuntary.

"Good. That's good. Then you don't mind if I..."

"He's not into man," Roman huffed, cutting him off before _the_ _words_ could leave his mouth.

"Says who? Maybe he is and just doesn't want to peddle it?" Dean asked innocently.

Those words caused two things at the same time. Anger began to boil in his guts again. And at the same time he felt a giddy tugging at the mere idea that Seth... No. No way. He shook his head softly, trying to shake the thought off.

"Seth has a girlfriend," he said, maybe more to himself than to Dean.

And maybe Dean could hear the anger returning to his voice but if, he didn't show it.

"I don't want to marry him. All I want is a bit of fun." With a smug smile Dean glanced over to the shower and back to Roman, adding hushed: "He wouldn't be the first man who gives _it_ a... shot."

The anger threatened to boil over and jealousy reared its ugly head and although he kept telling himself over and over again that Dean was only trying to tease, test and provoke him, he failed on staying calm.

Slamming his locker close, Roman growled: "He's not a toy!"

Getting up from the bench the other man grinned, a tad too wicked for his taste, but then suddenly Dean held his hands up pacifying. It was too late though. Something deep within Roman snapped and his fingers curled into Dean's shirt, shoving him against the locker and as he leaned closer to his... teammate... he noticed that there was a fine trembling running through himself as his blood pumped through his veins and for the first time ever he saw Dean... scared. Blinking in confusion, he let go of him. This wasn't his style. This wasn't him. And Dean was his friend after all. In a way...

"Jesus, Roman, it was a joke! Calm down!"

Slowly he stepped back, grabbed his bag and just as he turned to leave, he saw Seth standing in the doorway to the shower room, watching them in bewilderment.

"You leaving?" Seth asked slowly, leaving Roman wondering how much he had seen… or heard.

"Uhm, I... yeah," he replied, giving his friend a crooked smile. "Don't stay out too long."

There was a muttered _yes, mom_ as he was being pulled into a hug. Soft, warm skin... and the faint scent of vanilla... Much too soon the hug ended and when he left it was a warning glance he sent Dean.

And it was the memory of Seth's presence, the lingering, faint scent of vanilla, that accompanied him on his way to a lonely night.


	2. Rage

Okay, since it obviously turned out to be quite good - a big thanks to all those who left a review :D - I decided to continue it.

So this is part 2 of three. Again, please let me know what you think!

Have fun!

* * *

Three hours. Three hours since he'd left the locker room... and him. The TV was running but it wasn't more than a buzzing in the background and patterns of light and shadow in the darkness. Dark eyes were staring into obscure corners of the room, the gaze distant. Fingers, fumbling with the remote... Heavy sighs being exhaled in worry, indecisiveness, confusion...

The room felt empty. Much too empty. It shouldn't feel like that because there was no reason. Right? Right... A big hand was wiped down a face that was marked with lines of worry, with a deep frown. And a scowl. And then the dark eyes flicked over to two empty beds beside him, but it was the one in the middle his eyes fixed on. And this bed, just as like room, felt much too empty. And again there was no reason to feel like that.

The remote was tossed away, landing with a dull thud on the bed. Pulling his knees up, the big man on the bed braced his elbows against them, cradling his head in his hands. Deep within him was a raging storm of feelings... a storm he was fighting now for a much too long time, alone, because he kept it hidden. Because it was something he couldn't tell anyone and that storm threatened to devour him. Bit by bit. It was getting bigger and he was sure that soon it would be filling him completely. Hopeless love, worry, sorrow, the feeling of being alone... forlorn... Fear. He was so... so fucking scared. About the whole thing, about his own feelings...

But what choice did he have? None. Not really. Leaving The Shield? The company? No. It was his job and he loved what he was doing. And he couldn't leave because it would mean he would have to leave... Seth. But tell his friend the truth? God, no... Seth had a girlfriend, was straight as an arrow. Okay, he wasn't homophobic but that didn't mean he would cope well knowing that his friend and teammate had a thing for him.

And then there was this rage he was feeling. Red, hot. Burning. Rankling at him. A rage caused by being helpless and... by Dean. Not only had it become difficult being in the same team with him and being his friend. Everything that had happened between him and Dean over the past time would have been reason enough to feel a rage, but no, now Dean had smelled the rat and although he had an idea, he was nevertheless evincing interest in Seth. Challenging him.

But really, Dean could not _really_ want him to snap. Yet he was close to losing his temper. Very close.

It was a groan that crawled up his throat, but it was a growl that dropped from his lips, getting lost in the darkness of the room.

Turning his head a bit, he gazed back over to the bed in the middle and before he realized what he was doing, he crawled off his own bed and onto the other bed, lying on it spread-eagled. The bed had been untouched but when they had checked in, Seth had tossed his sweater onto it and it was that piece of fabric that was being grabbed now and lifted to flaring nostrils.

The faint scent of warm, sunny, sweet vanilla... So very Seth...

Closing his eyes he let himself spiral down into memories. Bits and pieces. Of touches, of moments of being close. That lean frame plastered all along him, arms wrapped around his neck in a lingering half-hug. A hand holding his. Tiny touches, a pat on his chest here, on his cheek there... Those brown eyes, looking at him with utter trust, sparkling in affection. And Seth's skin, forbidden to touch in undisguised fondness yet he had felt it so often under his touch and it was so... addictive.

Those memories and Seth's vivid scent emanating from the sweater filled his senses, his mind... This time it was a moan that passed his lips as his hand slipped into his boxers, found his cock... as his fingers closed around it. Slowly he began to move his hand, deeply inhaling... _Seth_... and his mind narrowed on the man he... loved. His movements became faster soon, his moans, groans dimmed by the sweater he still had his face buried in and in his head it was Seth touching him. A bright and warm tingling something curled up in his belly and a tight heat pooled between his legs as he kept jerking himself off. He didn't last long. The something in his belly unfurled, spreading throughout him in waves of pulsating heat as his orgasm hit and he came with his friend's name on his lips...

The hand holding the sweater slipped down to the mattress and for a long moment he didn't move. A light trembling kept running through him though as he tried to get his breathing back under control. The dark eyes stared up to the ceiling, partly dulled by a soft aftermath, partly filled with guilt, because he had just jerked off on Seth's bed with his face buried in the other man's sweater, imagining it was Seth touching him...

"Fuck... _fuck_..."

Faintly he noticed a tickling on his temple and when he reached up to brush it away he felt a wetness there. A tear... it was a goddamn tear...

And suddenly Dean's words came back to him. What if it hadn't been a joke? What if Dean really would try to hit on Seth? They were on the party together, what if Seth drank too much and... No. No way. He couldn't let this happen. Maybe he was too much of a coward to tell Seth the truth, but he wouldn't risk that Dean...

With a growl he jumped up from the bed, striding over to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up. His mind whirled and worry was bubbling in his chest... and jealousy in his guts. Not much later he was on his way to the party.

The party was in full swing as he came there. Pushing through the crowd he greeted co-workers and other more or less familiar faces, while his eyes scanned the room for any sight of Seth. But there was no Seth. And... no Dean. With a sigh he stopped in the middle of the room and straightening up to his full height, he slowly turned around, once more letting his gaze sweep the room. Still... no Seth.

"You looking for your twin brothers?" a well-known voice beside him asked and when he looked at its owner, he found a mildly amused smile greeting him.

It was Phil, who arched an eyebrow as their gazes locked.

"Oh, wow, someone's in a bad mood, huh? Got your PMS, big man? Or are you simply pissed because two of you three Stooges went out to party alone?"

Staring at the smaller man, Roman furrowed his brows as his mood dropped even more, but he wasn't here to fight with Brooks. With a growl he turned away from the man but it was a hand on his arm that stopped him, made him spin back around to Phil who held his hands up pacifying, taking a big step backwards.

"Woah, hold you horses, Reigns," Phil said while looking at him warily. "I've seen Dean and Seth a minute or two ago in the corridor over there. But maybe I should warn you... they didn't look like they want to, uhm... talk."

For a long second he could only stare at the other man, feeling the freezing fingers of awareness crawl up his spine, feeling a dam within him give way to the red hot rage. There was a buzzing in his ears as his heart sped up. Faintly he noticed as the man in front if him paled, saw that Phil's lips moved but he didn't hear the words. And he fucking didn't care.

The way over to the corridor seemed to take an eternity. His feet just wouldn't carry him over there as fast as he wanted them to and with every step his heart pounded faster, harder, the rage became hotter but then finally he was there, rounding the corner and... stopped dead.

_Seth..._

There was... Seth... standing in the far corner of the corridor. And Dean... Roman blinked slowly as his brain tried hard to process the scene his eyes caught. _Dean_ was standing in front of him, trapping him in that corner. Had his fingers buried in the bicolored hair to hold Seth's head in... in place... as he kissed him. Roman's chest constricted as he realized that Dean was _really kissing_ Seth. But then he realized something else. Seth was struggling against Dean's hold, was trying hard to turn his head away...

In the next second he was running, closing the distance in the blink of an eye. With a growl he grabbed Dean's wrist in a crushing hold, forcing the hand away from Seth and swinging him around hard, he sent him staggering backwards against the opposite wall. The very moment Dean was out of the way, Roman turned around to Seth, finding him staring wide eyed into Dean's direction while covering his mouth with a trembling hand.

"Seth..." he said quietly, deeply worried as he stepped closer, laying a soothing hand on the other man's shoulder.

Seth flinched hard. The wide brown eyes snapped over to him and it took a brief moment before Roman saw recognition glint in them and if possible, they widened even more. Shaking his head slightly no, Seth began to whisper something he couldn't quite understand and the hand covering his friend's mouth was settled on Roman's chest, fingers twisting in his tee. Leaning in a bit, Roman lifted his free hand to cradle Seth's head gently and it was then that he finally heard what Seth was whispering... _I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Rome, I... I'm so sorry..._ and he kept whispering it over and over again.

There was clearly the smell of alcohol in his friend's breath and those usually sparkling brown orbs were somewhat dulled and with a muttered fuck he brought his other hand up to pull Seth into a loose hug.

"It's okay, Seth. It's okay," he rumbled, letting him hide his face against his chest, while he looked over to where he had Dean seen the last time.

And Dean was still there, glaring at them. At him. From the corner of his eye he saw someone approach them carefully. Cena. He should have known Brooks would call him but for once Roman was actually glad to see him sticking his nose into other people's business.

"Cena," he called, nodding to him to come closer and John did. Gently pushing Seth away, who only reluctantly let go of him, he more or less handed him over to John while asking hushed: "Could you take Seth away from here? I gotta talk to Dean. Alone."

John didn't seem to be okay with the idea, but he nodded nevertheless and began to steer Seth away, out of the corridor. He waited until they were out of sight, before he focused his attention back on Dean who hadn't moved an inch. Not very smart...

"What the fuck, Dean?!" he hissed, seething in rage as he walked over to his... teammate... but Dean actually... chuckled.

"Huh, you're pretty much interested for someone who's not interested, Romy," the other man stated, still chuckling and the sound tore at his already frayed nerves, at his self-control.

"Don't call me that," Roman growled lowly, warningly... and the buzzing in his ears became louder... "Is forcing yourself on your drunken friend your idea of a good party?"

"Oh come on, we were just having some fun."

Those words were only feeding Roman's rage. His self-control was beginning to sing under the strain, a light and crystal-clear little sound echoing through him.

"Fun?! _Seth didn't want that_, you bastard!"

The expression in the other man's eyes suddenly changed and Dean lifted a hand, tipping himself against his temple while murmuring: "What goes on in that thick head of yours, huh? You don't want Seth, _huh_? Yet we both know you _do_. Are you feeling, Roman? Tell me, are you feeling, thinking anything at all?"

Tilting his head a bit to the side he took in the smug expression on Dean's face, the smirk he wanted to wipe off it.

"What I think and feel is no one's business, Ambrose."

His voice quivered under the strain of holding back and maybe it would have been the right thing to do to walk away from him now. But he couldn't. His mind urged him to go, but the rest of him demanded to settle this _now_.

"Roman Reigns, The Man. Never showing emotions," Dean scoffed, taking a bold step towards him. "You know what you are? Overrated. Emotionally stunted. You should live what you feel for once! You can't blame me for hitting on Seth if..."

Deep in him something snapped. His hand shot forward, curling around the other man's throat as he shoved him against the wall hard enough to knock the breath out of him. Dean's hands came up to push him away but he didn't move an inch. Leaning in close he tightened his hold, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to make Dean struggle for air. Hands came up to force Roman's hand away, but again he didn't move an inch.

His voice was threateningly calm and sober as he said: "Believe me, _Dean_, you don't want me to live what I feel right now..."

Satisfaction washed through him as he saw fear spark in the other man's eyes. That satisfaction wasn't granted to him for long though, because only a few seconds later there were steps coming closer and a big pale hand that settled on his arm.

"Reigns... Let go." A calm voice. A fucking voice of reason. He blinked once, glanced over to the man at his side. Cena. "Come on, let him go and calm down, okay?"

Fixing his eyes back on Dean, he asked: "Where's Seth?"

"Randy has an eye on him," John murmured, carefully stepping closer in an attempt to get to stand between them. "And I guess you should go to him now and Dean and I stay a little longer over here. Take Seth to the hotel. He looks like he needs some rest."

Giving Dean another shove that drew a choked gasp from him he added as calm as before: "I suggest you find yourself another place to sleep tonight, _Dean_. And I swear I'm gonna make your regret it if you _ever_ touch Seth again."

With that he let go of the other man and he left, without another glance back. The buzzing in his ears lessened and as he stepped back into the main room it was gone. For a moment he halted, taking a few deep and calming breaths while his eyes searched for Seth and he found him only a few meters away, leaning heavily against Randy.

The rage in him quietened a bit as the worry overtook again. Closing the distance he murmured a _thanks_ to the other man and as Seth realized it was him standing there, he found his arms full of his friend.

He shifted his hold on Seth, laying one of his friend's arms around his neck while wrapping his own around the lean waist, holding him close and safe while they made their way out. Seth's free hand settled on Roman's hand on his waist, holding on to it, on to him... his name a tiny moan on the lips of the man he loved.

And it was all Roman could do that very moment. Holding him, whisper soothing words as the guilt weighed down on him. And somehow he knew that this night had just begun...


	3. Vanilla

Wow! for all the reviews! :D

Now, I know I said it would have three parts… but it actually turned out that it's gonna have four. I guess you don't mind?

And here it comes: chapter 3! Enjoy ;3

* * *

Staggering. Stumbling. Tripping over feet which just wouldn't do their job. By the time they reached the hotel, Seth was clinging to Roman's neck for dear life and Roman was more carrying his friend than helping him to walk and those tiny moans and groans, that cut off little breaths and gasps made him worry even more. Seth's sore side couldn't be the only reason, although it sure did its part and Roman tried his best not to jar the bruise too much as they slowly walked side by side. Seth's face was veiled by his long hair, hindering Roman to get a good look at his friend's face.

But it wasn't the only thing that left him worried. Ever since they had left the party, Seth was refusing to speak. And worse... he even avoided to look at him. No eye contact. Not the briefest of moments. All the urging, soothing... begging even... trickled away in the quietness, the much too big gap that was between them despite the close proximity. It was how it felt to Roman. As if the man he held in his arms was miles away. Out of his reach. And with it he left Roman alone in his own dark and empty little world of worry...

To his relief there was barely anyone around when they made their way through the hotel and the elevator was empty as they stepped in. Carefully steering Seth into a corner of the elevator, he told him to lean against the wall as he dug through his pockets for the key-card and gritting his teeth he fought the burning feeling of... of... he didn't know how to name it. But it was there because Seth was still avoiding his eyes. Was still too silent. And he could have sworn that there was a certain glistening on those cheeks, but once more Seth's hair was concealing the truth.

Just as his fingers closed around the key-card, he saw a movement from the corner of his eye and his arms closed around his falling friend before he knew what was happening. Hands held on to his shoulder, his neck, fingers digging into his muscles and twisted into his tee as Seth clung to him. But still... no words, no gaze from those eyes he had come to love. Yet instead of trying to get away, Seth pulled himself close, closer, burying his face against a broad shoulder and faintly, oh so faintly, Roman could feel a slight, warm dampness. Seth was... he was really crying.

That knowledge shook Roman to the core, because although Seth was rather sensitive, he wasn't the type of guy who cried in front of others. Not even in front if his friends. Yet he was drunk, wasn't he, and he, a perfectly straight guy, had just been kissed from his perfectly straight friend. And when you're drunk, you don't always have a grip on yourself. With an inaudibly sigh Roman turned his face a bit, resting his cheek against the bicolored hair.

"It's okay, Seth," he murmured, lifting a hand to his friend's nape, tenderly brushing his thumb back and forth over the soft skin there in an attempt to provide some comfort.

He wished the other man would finally look at him, speak with him. He'd never felt so much at a loss of what to do. With a ping the doors of the elevator opened. Once more he dragged Seth with him on the last meters to their room and stared darkly at an elderly couple which looked them over in a most piqued way. Seth... Seth held on to him as if his life depended on it. All the time.

Opening the door turned out to be a bit laborious while having both arms full but somehow he managed it, dragged Seth in and kicked it shut... And suddenly he felt him stiffen for a heartbeat, before the body in his arms sagged against him with a tiny sigh, one much lighter and less... desperate... that those before and he became aware of a sudden, heavy mood, different from the one which had accompanied them on their way here. It was almost tangible... The quietness that had lingered between them in the past minutes changed... somehow... and now there was a strange kind of relief in it. Warmth. The gab between them was gone and Seth... was back...

"Rome..."

His name was whispered and finally, _finally_ Seth met his gaze, the brown eyes glassy yet somehow dull... looking up to him with trust but there was also guilt in them. It shouldn't be there and he wished he could make it vanish from them. Seth's hands let go of him, only to find a place on his chest where fingers buried themselves in his tee. Roman's let his gaze roam the handsome face as he thought about how to go on from here, what to do now. It was a tiny bruise on Seth's slightly swollen lower lip that caught his attention. It hadn't been there the last time he'd seen him in the locker room...

Cupping his friend's jaw, he traced his thumb so very gently just along below the bruised lip, whispering: "How did that happen?"

There was a fleeting expression in Seth's eyes but it was gone too quickly to file it. The other man opened his mouth, obviously wanting to say something. But no word came over his lips. Instead he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Seth?"

The hold on his tee loosened and he felt fingers splay over his chest.

"Dean," Seth murmured then and it was audible that he did not really want to spill what had happened. "He... he bit me when I tried to stop him..."

"What?" he snapped although he didn't want to, but it was out before he could stop himself and Seth tensed up immediately.

He hadn't wanted that. It wasn't Seth's fault but the other man obviously thought that he blamed him for it. Roman gritted his teeth as he felt the white hot rage rear within him again.

"I'm sorry, Rome, I... I didn't want that..." his friend began to apologize quietly as he looked up again those beautiful eyes were big and the guilt even more visible. "I thought it is a joke and then... I didn't want him to touch me..."

And even if Roman wouldn't have been so hopelessly in love with this man, so goddamn overprotective, those words alone would have been enough to make him want to beat Dean to a pulp. He knew that he it was probably showing on his face how angry he was and he cursed himself for it. Taking a deep breath his willed the rage to step back. He closed his eyes for a heartbeat and when he opened them again, they brought a fond smile with them.

"You don't need to be sorry. It wasn't your fault" Roman said softly and realizing that his hand was still on the other man's face, he wanted to pull it back.

His heart tripped... Seth stopped him, hesitantly guiding the big hand back to his face and those dull, chocolate seas suddenly brightened, became clear and open and vulnerable as he stepped impossibly close to him and he caught himself leaning in a bit and his whole being screamed to drown in those eyes... to kiss him, claim him...

"I didn't want _him_ to touch me, but... your touch... I like your touch, Rome..."

So soft... Seth's voice was so very soft and... and _sure_... and he wanted to believe it, believe that Seth might really want him to touch him like this. Not as a friend... If his heart had tripped before, it missed a few beats now. Seth was still holding his hand to his cheek and he could feel warmth against his palm, one day old beard stubbles that made him wonder how it would feel against his own skin, that soft roughness. Shaking his head slightly no, he tried to pull his hand back, but Seth held it there.

"Seth, I... Don't... you're drunk..."

Sorrow. There was sorrow emerging in the brown depths, so much alike to the one Roman felt but it couldn't be. His mind was playing tricks on him, showing him things which weren't there and his heart, it ached.

"Please, Rome..." Seth said, almost pleading. "I... why don't you look at me? You never... you never look at me..."

Torn. He felt so torn between giving in to this moment, to what ever would happen if he did and stopping this before Seth would hate them both in the morning. His head told him to step back from this but... he couldn't step away from Seth now.

Bringing his other hand up, he let his fingers slip into the other man's hair, savoring the feeling of it between his fingers as he replied fondly: "I always look at you, Seth... I _always_ look at you..."

The brown eyes flicked back and forth, brows furrowing over them as the sorrow Roman saw there became so heavy that he wasn't sure if he could bear the sight any longer.

"Then why don't you _see_ me?"

So desperate... Those words caused a sharp sting in his heart, took his breath away from him as his mind wrapped around them. Around their meaning. That Seth really wanted him to look at him like... _that_... that he thought he _wouldn't see him_. It wasn't like that, yet... maybe it was but how should he have seen it when he'd always thought that there wasn't the tiniest of chances that Seth was interested in him that way?

_For once don't be a coward..._

When he spoke again, it was only a whisper, because he didn't trust his voice.

"Because I'm scared that I might lose you if you knew the truth, Seth."

"You don't need to be," Seth murmured then while one of his hands smoothed up the broad chest to his nape, fingers lacing into Roman's hair.

Roman's heart began to run, fast, faster, pounding hard against his chest and in between his whirling thoughts and emotions there was a voice wishing, praying, begging that this wasn't just a dream.

"You have a girlfriend," he rasped as he closed his eyes, tilting his head a bit to gain more contact to his friend's hand.

He heard a puffed little chuckle from the other man.

Then: "I broke up with her three days ago."

At that his eyes snapped open and he was met by sparkling brown. The sorrow was still there, yet the trust in them was back and it overweight now and it had brought something else along, something heavy yet good, glowing there. Seth's hand on the back of his head pulled him forward ever so gently while the voice of reason in his head drowned in the calls of his heart. Giving in he let himself fall.

And then he kissed Seth.

Those lips were so soft against his own, parting for him as he ran his tongue along a slightly quivering lower lip. There was a moan, maybe from him, maybe from Seth... getting lost between sealed lips. Tongues met in a shy dance... Bliss. His hands left their place on Seth's face, trailing down over his chest, abs, to his hips where they rested for a moment, before smoothing back up again, bunching the fabric on their way up. Breaking the kiss for the briefest of moments, he tugged the tee over the Seth's head, only to claim those tempting lips in another, now demanding kiss and with a possessive little growl he wrapped his arms around the lean waist, lifting Seth up and onto the bed. Eager hands roamed over his back, tugging at his shirt and again the kiss broke for a second as his shirt was slipped over his head and those hand found their way to his shoulder, pulling him down.

Seth's skin was hot against his own and the feeling of having him writhing against him, those muscles hard yet soft... it was enough to set his body on fire. Heat pooled between his legs, making his cock grow hard within seconds. His heart jumped in anticipation and with a groan he grabbed a handful of the other man's hair, holding his head in place while ravishing that sweet mouth, while his other hand wandered down that amazing body, exploring, mapping, caressing, _feeling_... and he listened to those wonderful tiny, breathless sounds Seth was rewarding him with. Gasps, moans...

A leg wrapped around his waist as Seth's hands began to travel all over his back, sides, to his hair to play with them for a moment, before moving down to his ass where fingers dug into the firm flesh the moment Seth rolled his hips, pressing up against him. With a sharp gasp Roman stilled for a moment as he felt a matching hardness press against him.

For the briefest of moments the doubts returned. Seth was drunk and fuck, he should stop this. He wasn't any better than Dean, was he? Taking advantage of him now. What if Seth would regret this in the morning? What if this would destroy the best friendship he'd ever had? No, he couldn't risk that...

"We... need to stop," he rasped, moving away from the body beneath him, but he didn't get far.

Arms wrapped around his neck and legs around his waist, trapping him, pulling him back down.

"But I don't want this to stop," Seth whispered, placing a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Don't go, Rome." Another soft kiss to his lips. "Please." A playful nip on his bottom lip. "_Please..._"

He felt the hold on him lessen, felt the arms and legs which were trapping him slip to the mattress but those brown orbs sparkling at him, drawing him in, where holding him prisoner. More than arms and legs could ever do. Very hesitantly he settled back down. He was only a man, a fool head over heels in love and his heart was stronger than his will...

Seth breathed his name and shoving rationality aside, he stole that breath away as he claimed his lips once more in a thorough kiss and soon Seth let him take the lead. Hands came up to his sides, nails scratching over his skin just hard enough to leave a delicious burning in their wake. Leaving Seth's mouth, Roman crawled down the other man's body, kissing along a collarbone while his hands smoothed over his chest, grazing his nipples and he smiled against his friend's skin as he heard him gasp, as he felt him arch up. Abs jumped under his touch as he moved his hand further down and just as he began to peel Seth out of his pants, he felt nimble finger begin to work on his belt, too, and offending clothes were discarded.

Roman lay back down, hard cocks trapped between hot skin, brushing against each other as they began to buck their hip and his guttural groan laced into Seth's whimper. There was bright, tingling heat where loving hands touched him. One of his hands found back to the bicolored hair he loved to touch, dug into those locks, while his other roamed every inch of Seth's body he could reach. Waves of pleasure rolled through him, made arousal spread throughout his body as their movements became faster, groins grinding against each other and the steady and delicious friction pushed him further and further towards his release.

Roman's universe narrowed on this very moment, on Seth. His body moving against him, his touches, the feeling of his skin under his touch and those wonderful lips against his own... his tiny sounds of pleasure and his name, breathed in wonder... and his arousal coiled up in his belly, curling to a ball of pleasure.

And then he felt Seth's movements become erratic, felt him claw on his shoulders hard enough to leave marks, before the body beneath him stilled as Seth came, Roman's name a husky shout on his lips.

And then Roman was lost and the ball of pleasure unfurling within him sent him over the edge, the breathless cry that tore from his throat getting lost between them as he pressed his face into the crook of Seth's neck.

For long moments they just lay there, wrapped up in each other as they drifted in the waves of the aftermath and with every breath Roman took, there was an addictive scent of sweat, sex and... vanilla. Seth's so very uniquely scent. His body hummed in contentment while he listened to the calming breathing of the man he loved. It was... it was soothing. It quietened the inner turmoil he had felt for much too long now, because finally... Seth was his. He tried hard to wrap his mind around that.

Seth was _his_.

Shifting a bit, he settled beside the other man and pulled him into his arms, receiving a contented sigh that was breathed against his skin as he let his fingers brush over Seth's back in a lazy caress and he felt him snuggled deeper into his embrace, burying his face against Roman's chest, while an arm sneaked around the big man's waist in a loose hold.

"Seth?"

The _yeah_ he received was mumbled, telling him that Seth was already drifting off into sleep. He hesitated. He wanted to tell him what he felt, wanted Seth to know the truth. That he wasn't only attracted to him, but loved him. Really, _really_ loved him...

"There is something I need to tell you," he said quietly, peeking down at him.

Seth's eyes were closed, his features smooth and he looked so young. An acknowledging little sound was breathed against his chest.

Taking a deep breath, Roman whispered: "I love you."

For a long second there was no reaction and his heart dropped, but then he watched as a faint and happy smile spread on those wonderful lips. But there was no other reaction and he wasn't sure if he should be happy about it... or not.

"Seth?"

Nothing. He watched as the other man's features relaxed, felt his breathing become shallow and even.

"Really, man? You're falling asleep on me while I'm telling you that I love you?" Roman snorted and wiped a hand down his face. "I can't believe that," he muttered, staring at the ceiling for a moment, before his eyes dropped back to the head resting on his chest.

And then he smiled. It was okay, wasn't it? He'd just had... sex... yeah, he guessed it could be filed under having sex. He'd just had sex with the man he loved. Who had told him that he had broken up with his girlfriend. Who had told him that he wanted it. Him. And now they were lying here, wrapped up in each other. A tiny laughter passed his lips. This went far beyond his wildest dreams. And there was enough time now to tell Seth that he loved him. Fishing for the duvet, he tucked them both in and after a last gaze at Seth, he closed his eyes, letting sleep come.

It was the warm and sunny scent of vanilla and the wonderful calming sound of soft breathing that carried him into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Truth

Now guys, here's the last chapter and I hope you won't be disappointed :3

And as always, I'm curious what you think about it!

Have fun :D

* * *

Endless drifting in a peaceful blackness, floating on a sea of all kinds of good feelings. Fear... washed away. Doubts... paling to the point of being only a faint, bad memory.

Contentment.

And he was keeping on floating, only slowly emerging from a peaceful blackness towards a brightness. A brightness which brought awareness with. Soft sounds, calming. Warmth. A familiar, addictive scent. A light, steady movement under his touch.

Bliss.

Bit and pieces of the last night popped up in his mind like tiny island. Memories of an addictive taste, echoes of sounds which caused a heat in his belly and between his legs... touches that left the need for more... his name dropping from the most beautiful lips... vanillla...

A smile spread over his lips because those tiny islands began to drift towards another, slowly forming a picture of... perfection. Of Seth. Of the night with him.

Seth... was his.

But there was something else. A touch, ginger yet urging. A low voice, calling him. Hushed. And the brightness became brighter. The touch... on his shoulder. Shaking him. That voice... still urging.

With a sigh that was more a groan of defeat, he gave in and opened his eyes. He didn't want to though. It had been much too good where he had been. Blinking against the light, it took him s moment to collect his thoughts.

And the smile was wiped off his face as _everything_ of the past night came back to him.

_Dean._

And those memories, they came back in a rush, raining down on him like a thunderstorm. Dean's words, the kiss... the rage... It all was there, vivid. Much too vivid, the very moment he turned his head towards the urging voice and the touch.

For a second he wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him... as he found Dean there. Dean couldn't be that stupid, right? To come here after all that had happened. After what he had done? But he _was_ here, hunching beside the bed with a carefully blank face and one hand on Roman's shoulder, while the other held a bathrobe. And Roman... he wanted to tell him to fuck off, wanted to punch him right in the face, but instead he lay still, only glaring at the other man in silence. He didn't want to wake Seth...

But then the expression on Dean's face changed, becoming sad as he whispered: "Give me five minutes. _Please_."

Fuck off. He mouthed it and Dean read it on his lips and Roman was actually thinking about allowing his itching fingers to grab the other man by the throat again because, fuck, he had some unfinished business here, but suddenly there was something that dimmed his urge. Regret. There was regret on Dean's face, sincere and undisguised. Instead of closing his fingers around Dean's throat, Roman wiped a hand down his face and sighed quietly, thinking that he owed him at least those five minutes to say whatever he had to say. They were frien... teammates after all...

He nodded then, getting a nod in reply and very, very carefully he entangled himself from a pleasantly clingy Seth and he missed him already the second he got out of the bed. It was funny wasn't it? That the one person he'd wanted so much all the time and thought he would never be allowed to be closer than only a friend, that this one person had become so essential withing a few hours that he felt a physical loss now.

He took the bathrobe Dean held towards him and followed him over to the bathroom. His eyes fell on Dean's holdall, sitting beside the door. So he had been in here for a few minutes already before he'd woken Roman up. Closing the bathroom door quietly behind them, he took a deep breath and walked over to the counter, leaning against it with crossed arms.

"Five minutes, Dean, and keep your voice low. I don't want Seth to wake up," he muttered, not quite hostile yet not quite friendly either.

Rubbing his neck, Dean sat down on the rim of the tub, where he sat for a few long seconds in silence as he stared at the floor, before looking up to Roman hesitantly.

"Time is running, Ambrose."

He was fucking tired and all he wanted was to get back into that bed. To Seth. They had only three hours left before they would have to head to the airport to catch their flight home and he wanted to spend as much time as possible having Seth plastered against him.

"I'm sorry..."

The words had been spoke so very quietly that he almost missed them and somehow a _you should be_ would have been the appropriate answer to it, but even though there had been regret on the other man's face, he hadn't really expected Dean apologize, and so he only stared at him, silent and waiting.

"Look, I didn't want all this to happen, okay?" Dean added hushed and the regret was back on his face. "It... it got out of hand."

"Seth was drunk and you fucking kissed him," Roman hissed, leaning slightly forward as he felt the by now familiar angriness tug at his guts again. "And what the fuck, Dean? He tried to stop you and you _bit_ him! What goes on in that weird mind of yours? _Huh_? How can you even dare to..."

Stopping mid-sentence he closed his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. Calm down, he told himself. Five minutes. No four. Four minutes.

"Looks like the two of you finally talked about it?" the other man said, holding Roman's gaze as his eyes snapped open at the comment.

With a crooked little smile Dean got up and took a few steps towards Roman, stopping though as he straightened up a bit, squaring his shoulders. Nothing more and nothing less than a warning. Don't come closer.

"Roman, I... huh... All the time I see you slink around each other and it was so goddamn annoying that neither you nor Seth had the balls to do something about it. It's so goddamn obvious that the two of you have a thing for one another. I can see it and the whole fucking world can see it, every time the two of you are out there together. It couldn't be more fucking obvious, man, and I..."

Dean's gaze dropped to the floor again and he fell silent, maybe searching for the right words to continue. He didn't see slight surprise cross Roman's face or the fleeting expression of feeling caught out. It was silly yet somehow Dean's statement unsettled him in a way.

"And why the hell did you kiss Seth then? Enlighten me, because I don't understand it," he growled, pushing the weird feelings into the background.

Shrugging his shoulders, Dean crossed his arms over his chest in a rather defensive way, still not meeting his gaze again.

"What I said to you in the locker room... You know, I tried to push you a bit, okay? I wanted you to come to the party and finally stop being a fool," Dean muttered, again shrugging his shoulders and he looked so forlorn as he stood there, so absolutely _not Dean_, that the angriness in Roman's guts deflated completely in a blink. "But you didn't show up and I... I don't know what I thought. Maybe that if I tried to kiss Seth, that he would make up his mind and run to you and... Fuck, I guess I didn't think much at all. And I didn't mean what I said to you, Roman. Really. I'm sorry, okay? I am _sorry_. I was... and still am pissed because the company gives you a push and I took it out on you. I know it's not your fault. And you and Seth, you're my friends and all I wanted was you two being happy with each other."

For a long moment Roman could only stare at the other man. And then he felt a laughter crawl up his throat, because he wanted to punch Dean in the face and hug him at the same time, torn between believing and not believing his words. Was Dean only trying to get out of a tight spot after screwing up last night or had he been tripping over being himself while trying to make a match between Seth and him?

"Okay, uhm... it was what I wanted to tell you and I take it as a good sign that you haven't pushed me through the next wall by now," Dean added, a slight uncertainty lacing into his voice. "I guess I should go now."

Roman could see it in Dean's eyes as he finally looked up to him again, could see that the other man had told him the truth and he was glad that Cena had stopped him from doing something stupid like really hurting Dean.

Dean had his hand already on the doorknob as Roman muttered: "You know that you're an idiot, Ambrose?"

"Yeah, and I'm in good company, Reigns," the other man chuckled.

"God knows you are," Roman laughed softly, shaking his head.

With a tiny nod Dean opened the door, and disappeared into the main room. Slowly Roman walked over to the door, leaning against the frame and he watched Dean pick his holdall up, watched him as he looked at the still sleeping man and then back to him. He nodded, saw the other man give him a crooked little smile, before leaving the room. The door closed and a thick quietness fell. For a long moment Roman stared at the door, listening to Seth's soft breathing, before his gaze wandered over to the peaceful form under the blanket. And then he hung his head. Fuck. Now he was much too awake to get back under the blanket and the short conversation with Dean had left him... thoughtful. He wanted to spend some more time in bed with Seth but he also knew that he wouldn't find rest again now.

Ah, well... he would have much time from now on to cuddle with Seth.

The thought made him snort. Cuddle. It wasn't a word he'd used often when it came to himself. Cuddle with someone. The big dog Romand Reigns, _cuddling_. Nope. That was until now and the reason was there, only a few meters away from him. The man who had turned his life upside down.

Stepping back into the bathroom, he closed the door carefully and shrugged the bathrobe off, brushed his teeth absentmindedly before stepping into the shower. With a low groan he braced his hands against the tiled wall, dipping his head forward while hot water rained down on him in a relaxing rhythm.

He still couldn't quite believe what Dean had just told him. All the shit because he'd wanted them to admit their feelings for one another and then it got out of hand. Because Dean was angry and disappointed because the company didn't give _him_ a push.

Maybe he should have seen it... that Dean was feeling like he did, but on the other hand, what should he have done? Go to Vince and tell him to change the storyline? It was their fucking job and the fact that they were friends was no reason to destroy his own career. Right? Right. Only... that there was a quiet, nagging voice in the back of his mind, telling him that it would exactly have been what he would have done if it wasn't Dean but Seth who felt like that.

And it was the fucking truth.

And maybe... he should apologize to Dean.

"Someone had a wildcat in bed last night, huh?"

The sudden and unexpected voice made him flinch and he almost slipped as he whirled around. There was Seth, brushing his teeth with devotion with a smile on his lips, his hair sticking up in what looked like an impossible work of art and... naked in all his glory. Mouthwatering. And Roman knew that he was staring but, hey, he was allowed to stare at him, now that they were... A grin stretched his lips. This felt so fucking good. Arching an eyebrow Seth turned away to rinse his mouth and Roman's eyes dropped to that tempting backside.

"Where's Dean?" Seth asked as he straightened up, furrowing his brows as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Lifting a hand to his mouth, he carefully prodded the small bruise on his lip and muttered: "And what the fuck happened to my lip?"

It took a moment until Roman processed the words. His heart dropped, landing somewhere around his feet with a thud that might have been loud enough for Seth to hear it and despite the hot water he suddenly felt freezing cold. This was... so not good.

"What?" he whispered, praying that Seth was only making a joke.

Leaning a tad closer to the mirror the other man huffed: "Did I get into a brawl or something? The last thing I remember is Dean and me getting a drink on the after-show party. Fuck, my head hurts..."

_No. Nonono, please, this can't be happening..._

He couldn't _breathe_. He tried to, but he _couldn't_. His chest clenched and it felt like a steel band being wrapped around it. His _heart_ _hurt_ and deep within him something broke with a high-pitched little sound.

"Rome?" Seth asked worried, walking up to him. "You okay? You look pale..."

_Fuck, no, I'm not okay!_

Reaching out, Seth turned the water off and leaned closer to him, scrutinizing his face.

"Hey, come on big man, say something. You're worrying me here."

A gentle hand settled on the side of Roman's face, the touch making the ache in his heart grow.

"You don't remember the last night?" he croaked, beginning to feel dizzy.

"Uhm... No?" the other man replied slowly.

But then his eyes widened and Roman thought, here it comes, here come the consequences for giving in last night. He knew he never should have let it happen, not that way. Not when Seth was drunk.

"Did I do something stupid?" Seth asked a bit breathless as his eyes dropped to the floor, brows furrowing again as if he tried hard to remember. His eyes locked with Roman's again after a second, even wider if possible as he asked: "Rome?"

_You wanted me to touch and kiss you and we had sex. I love you, dammit!_

"Nothing happened," Roman said and the lie was bitter on his tongue. "You drank too much. Maybe you bit your lip during sleep."

_Coward. Tell him the fucking truth! He wouldn't have wanted you if there wasn't more than just friendship._

It was almost funny how much of a pathetic coward he was. Almost. And suddenly it stopped hurting. There was a buzzing in his ears and numbness flooded him, coming along with the fear, the one he had thought was gone. Like the whole time before he didn't have the guts to just tell Seth what he was feeling, even now after he'd told him only a few hours before. But his words, those three little words had never been heard by Seth, had gone lost in the depths of an alcohol induced unconscious-like sleep. And because Seth hadn't heard them it felt like he'd never really spoken them aloud.

"Did Dean and I have a fight? Is it the reason why he isn't here?"

_Tell him!_

But Roman didn't, murmured instead: "Not you and Dean. He isn't here because he and I had a fight."

His attempt to keep his voice neutral failed, the defeat in it so heavy that he was sure Seth heard it.

"Why?"

There was it. He should have known Seth would ask. The single word caused the steel band around his chest to tighten even more.

"Not important," Roman whispered, again pushing the chance to just say _it_ away. "We talked about it this morning and it's okay. Look, I... I don't feel so good, okay? I just want to pack my things and head home."

With that he stepped out of the shower, pushing past a worried Seth and it made him feel sorry to leave his friend standing there like that, but he needed to get out of here. Wanted to get away as fast as possible. He would even have run from himself if he could. Grabbing a towel he wanted to leave the bathroom but his name, spoken softly, stopped him.

And with the same softness in his voice Seth demanded gently: "Look at me."

For agonizing seconds Roman was back at that moment in the last night, making him swallow hard at a lump in his throat. He didn't turn around though. He couldn't.

"I always look at you, Seth," he said quietly, repeating his words. "I _always_ look at you..."

He waited for a few long seconds, harboring the tiniest of hopes that Seth would remember... but nothing happened. There was only a thick and confused silence filling the space between them. And then he left the room.

Seth didn't follow and Roman wasn't sure if he should be glad about it... or not...

x

The time between leaving the bathroom back at the hotel and stepping into his house went by in a blur.

He faintly remembered meeting Dean in the hall of the hotel, telling him that Seth couldn't remember the night and that he wanted Dean to keep his mouth shut. Surprisingly enough Dean agreed, maybe beause he felt guilty. It was John who caught him off at the airport, asking him if everything was okay. No, nothing was okay and he didn't even have to say a word, John simply read it in his face and then he really offered him to be there if he needed someone to talk. And since Randy and Punk kept distance to him and Seth, he guessed that John had told both to leave them be.

And Seth... had been awfully quiet during the flight. Yet after their conversation in the bathroom it was no wonder, was it? His friend seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and for the first time ever Seth did not choose the seat beside him as they got on the plane.

So Roman had been sitting alone, caught in his own incapable self, with a mirthless smile stretching his lips because Dean had been right. He was emotionally stunted. And a fucking coward.

He had no idea what time it was, how long he'd already been sitting here, on the couch of his living room, staring into nothing and he didn't really care. His holdall sat beside the front door where he'd dropped it after coming home. Somewhere between the front door and the couch lay his jacket on the floor. And his shoes. He hadn't even bothered to switch the light on.

He still felt numb. _Everything_... felt numb. His mind, his body... his heart... but underneath there was the pain. He knew it, because it couldn't be gone just like that. The worst thing was that he couldn't even cling to those few hours of pure happiness, because it would make everything worse and so he tried hard _not_ to let the memories come back to him.

A vain attempt.

The phone in his hand was somehow accusingly heavy for such a small device or maybe it was only the words of the message to Seth he'd typed but not sent, because he was scared what would happen if he did.

_I love you._

For once he wished he wasn't himself. It would make things so much easier...

"Do you always leave the front door open?"

His breath caught and his cell dropped from his fingers.

Seth.

He knew he should say something, but no words left his lips. After a moment he could hear him come closer. Never before in his entire life had he felt so much like a trapped animal.

"Look at me, Roman."

The voice, though being quiet, was loud in the darkness and the words had a weird edge in them. And Roman tried hard to remember how to breathe as he realized that Seth _remembered_...

"_Look at me_," Seth repeated, a bit sharper this time, causing Roman to actually get up from the couch and turn to face the other man reluctantly.

The cover of the darkness was ripped away from Roman as his friend switched the lights on, the glaring light blinding him for a second.

"You owe me answers, Reigns."

The brown eyes looked him over with an achingly angry and disappointed expression lying in them, yet there was something else in their depths, keeping him frozen to the spot while he wanted to flee as Seth approached him.

"I'm sorry..." he croaked.

"Oh, you are _sorry_?" Seth snapped as he came to a halt at arms-length in front of him.

In the blink of an eye the numbness fell off him, like a dam giving way to the pain underneath. It hit him in a clash, the pain, the fear and his heart began to pound hard.

"I..." he began, struggling to come up with an explanation... an apology... anything. "It was a mista..."

"Don't you _dare_ say to me that it was a mistake, you goddamn bastard!" Seth growled frankly pissed, grabbing a fistful of his tee to give him a rough shake. "All the time I wanted you to see me and I always thought that there is no chance that you... that you could ever _want_ me..." he continued, the growl becoming quieter, softer, desperate and the shaking became a slight tugging, pulling Roman closer. "You would really have kept the whole thing to yourself, huh? How dare you deciding what's best for me? You are my best friend and you owe me the fucking truth!"

Roman's mind whirled, struggling to comprehend the message the words were carrying, that even now that Seth was sober... that he wanted them to be more than just friends, that their night together hadn't just been a alcohol induced slip. Seth was giving a chance here by having the guts he lacked and he reached out to that chance, clinging to it.

"I just wanted... You were drunk and I should never have let it happen in the first place. Not like that," Roman whispered as desperate. "And when you couldn't remember... I... fuck, I was scared that you might freak when I tell you what happened. I didn't want to lose you, okay? It would have been hard enough to go back to just being friends after the last night but the mere thought that I could lose you as my friend scares the shit out of me!" Bringing his hand up to the one fisting his shirt, he gently blanketed it, watching as something shifted in the depths of those beloved brown orbs. Swallowing hard he willed his voice to work and being steady as he said: "You want the truth? Okay. The truth is that I love you."

The words were out and oddly enough his heart calmed down. With the desperation of a drowning man he held on to those brown orbs which had always been an anchor for him and those eyes softened, revealing an affection he'd never seen there before. One that took the breath right out of him.

"And I love you, you idiot," Seth whispered, his fingers splaying on Roman's chest as he stepped up impossibly close.

Hands smoothed up over his shoulders, his neck, diving into his hair. His heart began to jump in his chest... The brown that filled his vision darkened and there was a glint in them and Roman surrendered, allowing himself to be drawn into their depths. His hands found a slim waist and a way under Seth's shirt to feel that wonderful skin again. He could have sworn there was a purr... maybe from him, maybe from Seth... The hands in his hair laced into his locks.

And then Seth kissed him.

It was an innocent kiss, so very gently and achingly sweet. And Roman let go, allowed himself to drown... and it was good. This... was perfection. He faintly realized that they were moving backwards and then his legs hit the edge of the couch and he fell.

But he knew that as long as Seth came with him, everything would be okay...


End file.
